|President Juan Manuel Santos at the Film Festival opening.|
First, I'll make sure that your hotel room has a bathroom so large that everything echoes off the tiles. And you'll certainly need a second bathroom of that very same size in that very same hotel room just in case there's a problem with the first one.
Then of course I'll make sure that Isabella Rossellini & dreamboat Gael Garcia Bernal are staying in your hotel. I'll make sure that Gael wanders around the garden lobby a couple of times while we're sitting there having a drink, too, just so we can admire him. Juan Manuel Santos (the President of Colombia as we all know) will have lunch at the very same restaurant as you and he will speak that night at the opening of the Film Festival. You'll be sitting a mere 100 feet from him, as you can tell from the perfect photo above.
You'll want to be sure to invite me to the exclusive International Film Festival of Cartagena party, because with my excellent Spanish I'll order drinks for you. The vodka on the rocks you asked me to order for you will come with juice in it. Your next drink, which you really want to be a Johnny Walker (& which was requested of the waiter), will be a vodka on the rocks. But at least without juice!! You try again for a Johnny Walker only to be told by the waiter, with the help of my excellent Spanish, that they don't have any, so another vodka on the rocks it is. Finally you go up to the bar yourself & use your own excellent English & sign language and return with a Johnny Walker. (As a side note, there was never any error in the drink orders I made for myself. Also in my defense, the great salsa music was very loud so hard to hear anyone talking, much less ordering drinks! :)
As compensation for my poor ordering abilities, I'll score for you a mojito popsicle.
And if you complain about anything, those torture instruments from the Spanish Inquisition come in handy…..
|In the Museum of the Inquisition|
|In front of John's hotel in the old city|